The recent conversations around Maa Behen made me think about something I often see in therapy.
Why are women still expected to fit neatly into certain roles?
The “good daughter.”
The “good sister.”
The “good wife.”
The “good mother.”
And what happens when a woman chooses herself?
For many people, that choice feels uncomfortable. Not because it is wrong, but because it challenges expectations that have existed for generations.
As a psychologist, I often work with women who have spent years trying to make everyone around them happy. They become experts at anticipating others’ needs, avoiding conflict, and putting themselves last.
From the outside, they appear responsible, caring, and dependable. On the inside, many feel exhausted.
One client once told me, “I’ve spent so much time becoming the person everyone wanted me to be that I don’t know who I am anymore.” That statement stayed with me.
The psychology behind this is complex. Many women grow up receiving subtle messages that their worth comes from being helpful, agreeable and self-sacrificing. Over time, these messages become internalized beliefs.
“I shouldn’t disappoint people.”
“I should always be available.”
“My needs can wait.”
Eventually, these beliefs stop feeling like beliefs. They start feeling like facts. This is where therapy can be transformative.
Contrary to popular belief, therapy does not tell people what choices to make. Instead, it helps them examine the invisible rules they have been living by.
Who taught you that saying no is selfish?
Why do you feel guilty when you rest?
What would happen if your needs mattered too?
These questions often uncover patterns that were never consciously chosen.
One of the most powerful moments in therapy is when someone realizes that a belief they have carried for years is not a universal truth. It is simply a story they learned. And stories can be rewritten. The conversation sparked by Maa Behen is bigger than a movie. It reflects a question many women quietly wrestle with every day:
Can I be a caring person without constantly sacrificing myself? The answer is yes.
Healthy relationships do not require self-erasure. Boundaries are not selfish.
Rest is not laziness. Having needs does not make someone difficult. And choosing yourself does not mean you love others any less. Sometimes, it simply means you are finally making room for yourself in your own life.
Maa Behen is available on Netflix India.
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